Part of the trouble with reading books about teenagers in high school for me is having to witness all the dumb mistakes they made, all the while reminding myself that I was a teenager once and probably made dumb mistakes too. Still, I like to think that at least I was reasonable about my dumb mistakes. At least I tried to make them right rather than getting angsty and letting the consequences of my bad decisions fester. Unfortunately, that is exactly what Melinda does in the book.
I’m not blaming her for being shy and quiet after the trauma of her sexual assault, but I am saying that she deliberately allows herself to sink down a pit of despair. There are numerous times when she can stand up for herself and explain what Andy Evans really did to her, but she sits and lets them pass by without action.
*Mr. Neck: “We meet again.”
Me:
Would he listen to “I need to go home and change,” or “Did you see what that bozo did”? Not a chance. I keep my mouth shut.
Mr. Neck: “Where do you think you’re going?”
Me:
It is easier not to say anything. Shut your trap, button your lip, can it. All that crap you hear on TV about communication and expressing feelings is a lie. Nobody really wants to hear what you have to say. (9)*
Seriously? You don’t think that the teacher will take the big glob of potatoes and gravy on your chest as evidence that you’re not at fault and defend yourself? How about instead of assuming that you know what’s going to happen, you not jump to conclusions and try communicating.
We’ve been talking a lot this semester about the relationships between adults and children, especially when it comes to fatherless sons and mothers and daughters. Melinda and her parents have a huge rift in communication that sounds like it has been developing before the story began. Her mom works too often and doesn’t really give thought to Melinda’s emotional needs. She tells Melinda to speak up, but then ignores her when she tries. Her father is not really good at starting communication with his wife and they fight often.
*Mother: “That’s the point, she won’t say anything! I can’t get a word out of her. She’s mute.”
Guidance Counselor: “I think we need to explore the family dynamics at play here.”
Mother: “She’s jerking us around to get attention.”
Me: [inside my head] Would you listen? Would you believe me? Fat chance. (114)*
Not to mention the time when she tries to cut her wrists with an uncoiled paper clip and her mom looks at her, saying, “I don’t have time for this.” Now that I think about it, I can understand her idea that nobody will listen to her because her parents hardly do. It sends a powerful message to readers that have children. Pay attention to your kid. Toddlers and young children are like chatterboxes. It’s only when they start growing older and realize that no one is listening to them that they clam up. And then it’s only a matter of time when they believe that they have no help when they really need it, like Melinda.
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